As I move forward in the new version of my life I am constantly plagued by indecision.
When DQ left I started questioning everything that was the life I thought I knew. What did I do wrong? What could I have done differently? What's wrong with me? So it goes on.
I may be shy but I'm usually a fairly confident person. However a byproduct of suddenly finding myself single is that my self confidence has been shattered.
That means I either can't make a decision or if I do actually make a decision I have no confidence in it. I question everything, a thousand times over. It is a good decision? Or is it just the easy way out? Is it the decision I want to make? Or is it the decision that I think others are expecting me to make? Is it a decision based on common sense? Or emotionally fraught? Is it based on opportunity and challenge? Or running away? Is it okay for right now, but the wrong one for 6 months from now?
All that to decide if I want an apple or a banana? No wonder I constantly feel exhausted.
Nah, I'm talking more life altering decisions. Do I want a job that I'll like or a job that pays well? Are money and benefits the deciding factor? Do I want full time work? Do I want seasonal work? Do I want a desk job? Or retail? Or back on a hotel front desk? What about a resort somewhere that offers staff accommodation? Then I don't need to find somewhere to live. Here? Australia? Somewhere else? Do I take a short term opportunity that pays little, would be fun, but could end in a month, might last 6 months?
I need a magic eight ball and two Tylenol.
So dinner. Meatballs? Chimichanga? Chicken and veggies? Chocolate? That's an easy choice.