Tinkerblue

Girls Night Out

Not long after I moved up to Sechelt, Michelle came to visit and to treat me to a birthday weekend.  I've known Michelle for 7 (?) years now. She used to live in the same complex as me, then she moved across the road.

Over the last 8 months Michelle has been an awesome friend.  She's listened to me cry, rant, and worry, and she's made me laugh.  She's dropped everything to meet me for coffee so I can talk thing through when I've been so confused I can't think straight. We've traded texts at 2am when we've both been struggling with insomnia.  We've drunk more beer and wine and consumed more ginger gems that is healthy.

When she heard I was alone for birthday, she packed her bag and got on the ferry and came over the following weekend to celebrate. Michelle decided we were having girls night out complete with curly hair and dresses.

Two beers, some tequila shooters, a glass of baileys and who knows whatelse later, the photos were not quite in focus...

But we were still able to get up bright and early the next morning to serve breakfast to the guests, clean the room, shop at the Farmers' Market and bounce on the trampoline. I cannot remember the last time I was on a trampoline. The '80s?

Thanks for a great weekend Michelle.

 

My To Do List

In the process of cleaning up the house, I found an old piece of paper that had been folded many many times, it had holes in the fold, and the ink was almost worn away.  

It was a To Do List that I started way back when. Given some of the items on it, it was started when I was a cute little kid at Lindisfarne North Primary School.  

I have added to it over the years, but not recently. It hasn't seen the light of day for years, I didn't even know I still had it. It was stashed inside a book, that I was about to giveway.

I think at one point it was going to be 100 things to do, but I never added anything past 59.

1. Get Scuba certified
2. Ride a camel (I did this at Ayers Rock and at the Pyramids in Egypt)
3. Pyramids at sunrise or sunset
4. Hot chocolate and croissant in France
5. Drink a pint of Guiness at a pub in Ireland
6. Go on a multi day kayaking trip
7. Hike the overland track
8. Blow bubbles off the Sydney Harbour Bridge
9. Learn to roll a kayak
10. Be conversational in another language. Greek? French? (At one point French, Spanish and Japanese. I wish I had continued to study languages and actually become fluent in a second language)
11. Live in a foreign country for a year (I lived in Japan for a year, England for 3, Mexico for just under a year, and Canada for 15)
12. Set foot on all seven continents
13. Stand on the Great Wall of China
14. Stand in the Taj Mahal
15. Ride the Rails - Trans Siberian Express
16. See the ballet in St Petersberg
17. Give $100 to a busker
18. Live in a house with a view of the ocean
19. Wear a fancy dress and hat to the Melbourne Cup
20. Go parasailing
21. Attend a service at Westminster Abbey or St Pauls Cathedral (Both were Christmas Eve services)
22. Roast a chicken
23. Sleep in a tree house
24. Adopt a wombat or a penguin
25. Run a half marathon (The Victoria 1/2 in 2003, Disney World 1/2 in 2005 and Disneyland 1/2 in 2006)
26. Learn to use my camera
27. Spend a night on the Great Barrier Reef
28. Fly a plane (who knew that one day I would marry a pilot)
29. See a Broadway show in New York
30. See a musical in London
31. Buy a christmas decoration from the Christmas Markets in Germany
32. Sing do rei mi on the Sound of Music steps
33. Eat sushi in Japan
34. Ride on a double decker bus and in a black cab in London
35. Drink a stein of beer and eat a pretzel at Octoberfest in Munich
36. Cheer loudly for Aussies at a Summer or Winter Olympics (live, not on TV) Barcelona 92, Lillehammer 94, Sydney 2000 as a spectator and Vancouver 2010 as an employee
37. Learn to do a flip turn
38. Design a piece of jewelry
39. Dance to a Mariachi Band in Mexico
40. Have champagne and chocolates for breakfast
41. Ride the Matterhorn in Disneyland
42. Buy a house
43. Ride a horse along the beach
44. Write $1000 cheque to charity
45. Go skinny dipping in the ocean
46. Sew an outfit and wear it in public
47. Knit a jumper
48. Use chopsticks on a regular basis
49. Get my driver’s license
50. Swim with stingrays
51. Get my ears pierced
52. Watch fireworks on Sydney Harbour
53. Stand up on a surfboard
54. Step foot in every State and Territory
55. See the Aurora Australis
56. Visit all 4 World Centres - Olave House (London), Sangam (India), Our Chalet (Switzerland),  and Our Cabana (Mexico) Olave House no longer exists but I did visit in 1984, Pax Lodge is now the World Centre in London, and I have also been there. The only World Centre I have not visited is Sangam in India
57. Earn my BP and Queens Guide Award
58. Meet my pen pals in real life. Heather in England, Jenny in US, Scott in Brisbane and David in Goulburn. Heather and David I lost contact with before I finished high school, Jenny is now Jen and I still keep in touch but I have not seen her since she spent a year at primary school with me, I met Scott and his family in 1988 but have since lost touch with.
59. Learn to walk in high heels

 

I can't believe I've never had champagne and chocolate for breakfast.  I know I've had champagne, and I've definately had chocolate for breakfast but not together!

 

Some Days

I just feel like curling up in a ball:

 

Others I feel bright and cheery:

 

I get lots of messages from friends asking how I'm doing post DQ. I am doing well, Thank you.  Sure there are days where I miss Dave. We were together for 15 years, so it's going to take awhile to adjust to being on my own again.  BUT... In general, my life is good.

Thanks to a really great group of friends, both here and overseas I have muddled through the last 8 months. I have come out the other side in one piece.  My friends and family have held my hands, propped me up, answered my phone calls and listened to me cry, answered hundreds of text, made me laugh with their dating stories, sent me letters and care packages, and read and answered my long and rambling emails. They've fed me, made me soup, bought me numerous cups of coffee, given me places to stay, taken me shopping, and given me hug after hug after hug.

I'd name them all, but I'm afraid I'll miss someone.  

So a quick update:

Our townhouse is for sale. We have reached a tentative agreement on how we will split our assets and debits. Dave is living in the hangar.  Right now I am living in Sechelt on the Sunshine Coast. A friend had a spare room and I needed to get away from Pitt Meadows, from everything that reminded me daily of the life I had with Dave. 

I know a few people disagreed with my choice to come to Sechelt. They think I'm making the wrong choice, that I should have found a job on my career path in Vancouver or Sydney. They may be right, they may be wrong, who knows. I know they are just worried about me.  Don't be.  The move, although temporary has been good for me.  My IBS has stopped flaring up, my skin has stopped breaking out, I'm finally sleeping at night (I've been battling insomnia since September), I've stopped having sobbing fits for no apparent reason, I am looking forward to what the future has in store.

I will admit it's not all roses and chocolates. There is still the odd day or two where I can barely function, they are times when I am reminded out of the blue of Dave - a scent, a taste, a movie, a place,  a piece of clothing, a restaurant, something a friend says etc etc. But they are getting easier and easier to cope with.  They are less frequent, less intense, less lengthy, less everything.

So what's next? Where will I live? Where will I work? Will I change my name back to my maiden name? What will I do?  In short...No idea, Canada or Australia or maybe somewhere else, again no idea, probably, again no idea.  One day at a time people, one day at a time. 

That's all for now. Feel free to ask any questions, I don't mind. Friends ask if there is anything I need. Hugs. Seriously, hugs make me feel better.

 

Things That Make Me Cranky

Lack of water:
I drink a lot of water over the course of a day. If for whatever reason I don't drink any I get all headachy and then I get cranky.

Lack of food:
I eat at least 3x a day. If I skip a meal or it's delayed for some reason (out and about, waiting for friends etc), I notice it. You'll also notice it because I get cranky!

Lack of sleep:
I don't need 8 hours a night, although that would be nice. I survive quite nicely on 6 hours. Any less than that and guess what? Yep, I get cranky. Watch out when I'm suffering from a bout of insomnia. Not good.

The last thing that makes me cranky? This is new to me. Apparently lack of exercise makes me cranky. For the last month I've been working out pretty much 6 days a week. Either running or swimming or cycling. I somehow managed to hurt my knee, (just a minor injury, nothing exciting) so I took yesterday and today as rest days. Now I'm cranky. I feel blah and gross because I haven't done anything - cleaning, gardening, walking - but that's it.

Previously if I took a day off it never worried me. I never thought I'd be irritable just because I couldn't go for a run or a swim. It's a good thing, right?

Hopefully my knee will be back to normal tomorrow.

Birthday Greeting From Jo

 

I think I've finally worked out how to share the audio greeting that Jo sent me on Whatsapp. Just click on the button thingy below.

 

 

Birthday Greeting from Jo

 

Happy Birthday Part 2

My Canadian birthday started of bright and early. Well early, not too sure how bright I looked or felt! For whatever reason I was awake at 530am. Way before my alarm clock was due to go off.

I received lots more birthday greetings today, from Sweden, Brazil, Japan, England, Ireland, Australia, Thailand, a dozen US States, and 4 Canadian Provinces.

The highlight was a last minute unexpected visit from Steph and Finn. I talked to Steph yesterday and said she should come for lunch. And she did. An hours car ride to the ferry, 2 hours at the ferry terminal, 40 mins on the Ferry and then another hour in the car on this side. All for me.

They arrived with balloons and chocolate cake. We had lunch here... Chicken and salad. Relatively healthy. But then we ate half a chocolate cake each! Before Steph left to take the ferry home, her and Finn took me out for a birthday beer.

I finished off the evening with a 3km run. Now I'm looking forward to a cuppa tea and a chat with Jo. I'm also hoping to catch up with my Mum and Dad and my brother and Kelly before I sleep.

I tried to thank everyone individually for their birthday wishes, I'm sorry if I missed anyone.

I truly appreciate all your thoughts and best wishes and the support that everyone has given me over the last few months. I have some of the best friends.

Thank you.

Happy Australian Birthday To Me

It's not quite my birthday here yet. But it's been May 3rd in Australia for the last 13 and 3/4 hours.

This morning I woke to a voice mail from Jo singing me Happy Birthday. I wish i knew how to post it on here. It was an awesome way to start my day. I've had an inbox full of birthday wishes from friends and family all over Australia. This evening I finished off the day on a video Skype call with Narelle and Justin and Tait. Tait is my Godson and we share a May 3rd birthday. It's his first birthday, it's not my first! Happy Birthday Tait!

Thank you to everyone who emailed, texted, phoned, Skyped, Facebooked etc I feel much loved.

This afternoon I also received an actual gift. Some flowers, a bottle of wine and a card. I wasn't expecting to get any gifts this year, so it was a nice surprise.

My plans for tomorrow? A run. A visit from Steph and Fin. Maybe some chocolate. We'll see.

Typically Taurean

I don't really follow astrology or anything like that, but it is fun to see just how true my star sign characteristics are.

I am a Taurus.  Taurus - The Bull.  Taureans typically:

• Dislike change
• Creative
• Practical
• Reliable
• Stubborn
• Clever
• Arrogant
• Hate to be rushed or hassled
• Loyal
• Hard to beat in an argument

See where it says stubborn? Loyal? Hates to be rushed? Practical? Arrogant?  Dislikes Change? Yep, all me. You've heard the saying, "stubborn as a bull"? It's not wrong.

Taurus is an Earth sign. Apparently Earth is the most stable, consistent and rigid of all signs. Once we make up our minds, we cannot be moved without huge efforts. Sound familiar?

Practical, patient, reasonable, and persistent are Earth signs. If you want to make sure a project gets done and gets done "right" call, on an earth person. Earth people are not much one for the limelight. If it can be done, an earth sign will do it without the need for recognition.

 I was born in 1970, which makes me Year of the Dog. People born in the Year of the Dog tend to be:

• Honest
• Friendly and Playful
• Extremely protective of loved one
• Very private, you think you know a lot about them, but really you don’t
• Perceive things in black and white.  No in-betweens.
• Good judges of character
• Loyal
• Intelligent
• Trustworthy
• Stubborn

 See stubborn and loyal are mentioned again? 

 

My name - Rachael Jane

• Rachael means Ewe or Gentle as a Lamb or One with Purity (take your pick)
• It's a Hebrew name
• Rachael was a popular female first name from the 1960’s to the 1980’s (along with Allison, Jennifer, Karen, Melissa and Michelle)
• The more common spelling is Rachel. Try finding all the kids stuff with the Rachael spelling on it.  Almost impossible. 
• Some of the ways friends and even family have spelt my name - Rachel, Rachelle, Raechel, Raychel, Raquel, Rachyl, Raychl, Rachal, Rachele, Rachale and so on.

• Jane means God's Gracious Gift
• It's also a Hebrew name
• Jane is often used as a middle name or as the second element of double barreled names such as Sarah-Jane, Mary-Jane.

I'm not sure that anyone has ever described me as gentle as lamb or one with purity or as God's gracious gift!

Yes, I Still Celebrate My Birthday

This time next week I'll be another year older. Much has changed since my last birthday. Some good, some not so good.

The last 7 months were unexpected and a little difficult. Although my life is now moving in an unplanned direction, I am happy. I've learnt to live on my own again, to make decisions for me, that I have some really awesome friends, my family are always there for me, and that I will survive!

My birthday next Thursday doesn't just mean I'm a year older, it represents the beginning of my new life. It's the beginning of a new year, a new job, a new place to live, a new adventure. Who knows where it will lead or where I'll be when my birthday rolls around next May. I do know I'm going to enjoy the next year whatever it brings.

Yes, I still celebrate my birthday. I don't care how old I'm getting or that I'm in my forties. I know most of my friends and family don't care about their birthday and would rather just forget about it completely. Not me. I like getting birthday phone calls, texts, Facebook posts, letters etc. I like going out for lunch or dinner or having someone make me lunch or dinner. I love birthday hugs.

Usually I have a wish list a mile long. Not this year. We're in the process of packing up the house, and I'll probably be putting stuff into storage for a while until i decide what I want to be when I grow up. I don't need stuff.

This is my birthday wish list for this year:
To keep in touch with friends on a much more regular basis - Skype calls, emails, letters, coffee, texts, movies, hugs. Lots of hugs. No more once a year calls. The last few months have taught me how much I value my friends.

Last year Dave and I went to a Mexican restaurant for my birthday dinner, we celebrated with margaritas and deep fried ice cream. Then Rhonda and I went to Whistler for the weekend and had drinks with Alex and Sam.

Not sure what I'll do this year. My original plan was to invite 1/2 a dozen friends over for dinner.

But I'm going to be out of town. I'll be on the Sunshine Coast (here in BC, not in Queensland). The friend I will be with for the day isn't even aware that it's my birthday.

Don't be sad, I'm not. I plan on talking to lots of friends that day, even though I can't be with them in person.

I'm not yet sure what if anything I'll do for my birthday, however I can tell you I am going to enjoy it.

Maybe a nice glass of Tassie wine that I've been hoarding?

I Never Did Like 20 Questions.

As I move forward in the new version of my life I am constantly plagued by indecision.

When DQ left I started questioning everything that was the life I thought I knew. What did I do wrong? What could I have done differently? What's wrong with me? So it goes on.

I may be shy but I'm usually a fairly confident person. However a byproduct of suddenly finding myself single is that my self confidence has been shattered.

That means I either can't make a decision or if I do actually make a decision I have no confidence in it. I question everything, a thousand times over. It is a good decision? Or is it just the easy way out? Is it the decision I want to make? Or is it the decision that I think others are expecting me to make? Is it a decision based on common sense? Or emotionally fraught? Is it based on opportunity and challenge? Or running away? Is it okay for right now, but the wrong one for 6 months from now?

All that to decide if I want an apple or a banana? No wonder I constantly feel exhausted.

Nah, I'm talking more life altering decisions. Do I want a job that I'll like or a job that pays well? Are money and benefits the deciding factor? Do I want full time work? Do I want seasonal work? Do I want a desk job? Or retail? Or back on a hotel front desk? What about a resort somewhere that offers staff accommodation? Then I don't need to find somewhere to live. Here? Australia? Somewhere else? Do I take a short term opportunity that pays little, would be fun, but could end in a month, might last 6 months?

I need a magic eight ball and two Tylenol.

So dinner. Meatballs? Chimichanga? Chicken and veggies? Chocolate? That's an easy choice.